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Don't Be a Victim of Someone Else's Victim Mentality

Victim mentality is a tricky little thing. You see our subconscious mind is always trying to keep us safe and to help us meet our emotional needs. Now depending on our past experiences, it may get confused about the best way to do this.

We all need love and attention. Some of us have healthy behavior patterns which we use to meet these needs and some of us have very unhealthy behavior patterns. Being a victim is one way, albeit an unhealthy way, of getting attention by having other people feel sorry for us and commiserate with us. But the dysfunction goes a little deeper than this.

You see when we have a thought we connect some sort of emotion to it, whether it’s happy, sad, scared or mad. This emotion thought is then sent to the chemical factory of our brain where it is converted into neuropeptides which are carried throughout the body to create the actual feeling of the emotion. For example, we may feel fear in our chest or stomach.

Now if we get attention and love whenever we get hurt, our mind creates a program or formula that good feelings follow bad feelings. i.e. love follows sadness. We essentially develop a pattern of behavior to create situations where we become the victim because then when we tell our story to other people, they feel sorry for us and we get our love and attention needs met. It’s a little convoluted but this is our how subconscious mind works.

On an even deeper level, these neuropeptides which were dispersed throughout our body, attach to receptor sites on our cells creating a cascade of biochemical changes. Over time, if we ‘practice’ feeling sad or victimized over and over, when these cells replicate, they will develop more receptor sites for the neuropeptides which they are exposed to most often. These cells learn to expect and even crave these neuropeptides in an addictive fashion in the same way a drug addict craves their drug of choice.

Craving this neuropeptide of sadness, anger or victimization, our clever subconscious mind will attract and/ or create situations in which we are victimized. Through the law of attraction we will literally bring people into our lives that are a vibrational match and treat us the way we need to be treated in order to continue this cycle. We will also act and speak in ways that will trigger other people to react to us with annoyance or even anger. Then we’ll shout from the mountaintops “I can’t believe they did that to me. Poor me. Poor, little, innocent me.” We tell everyone who will listen our victim story, gain their sympathy and love and we feel good…. For the moment, that is, until the cycle repeats.

By understanding and recognizing this cycle, you can not only put a stop to your own victim mentality and behavior, you can also avoid becoming a victim of other people’s victim mentality. If they are really stuck in this pattern, they will bait you and try to get you to do or say something to play into their game.