We've all seen it. People have all the tools, the perfect plan but they just don't follow through. Or worse, they start to make progress but then sabotage their progress and success. It's so frustrating to see people being their own worse enemy, especially when you're giving them all the tools and information to achieve their goals.
So what's the deal? Why do people take two steps forward and one or even two steps back? 99% of the time, they have a battle going on inside between two conflicting parts.
I'm not saying we all have multiple personality but well, kind of. We all have different parts of our psyche which NLP refers to as sub-personas . For example, the part of you that wants to help you deal with stress may 'help' you by having you bite your nails. This might work great until you get a high profile job when biting your nails becomes unprofessional or embarrassing. So one part of you wants to stop biting your nails and the other part wants to help you deal with stress and the way it knows how to do this is by having you bite your nails. Your classic Catch 22.
In another situation the part of someone that wants them to feel free and happy may 'help' them by getting them out of that dead end job by calling in sick repeatedly. It just doesn't feel so helpful when it's the 6th job in a row that this part of them has helped them escape from.
All parts of us, no matter how problematic or confusing, have a positive intention to help us in some way. It's just that their way of going about isn't cooperating or congruent with the rest of our desires or our big picture of success. Of course, all of this is going on in the subconscious mind, hidden away from conscious awareness.
How can you help your client resolve this internal conflict? Imagine two brothers inherit a family farm. They both love the farm and want to succeed. However, they have two very different ideas of going about things. One brother wants to modernize and the other wants to keep things traditional. The one that wants to modernize thinks his brother's an idiot. I'm mean, after all, how can they compete if they don't modernize? The brother that wants to keep things traditional thinks his brother's a sell out. They spend the next 20 years fighting each other wasting their time, energy and resources. Naturally, the farm fails.
So what can be done? If the brothers had been able to see that at a higher level they both wanted the same thing they would have been able to let go of their attachment to 'how' things needed to be done and focused on working together.
With an NLP process called Parts Integration, you can learn to guide your clients' Subconscious conflicting parts to come together as one, maintain all their positive intentions and find new ways to achieve success through a cooperative and synergistic relationship.
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